Name: Robert ‘The Shoveller’ Smedley

Age: 23

Home town: Durham

Weight: Somewhere between a large goat and a Shire Horse

Height: 6’5″

Handed: Right for writing, Left for looting

Writing Weapons: Biro, The Mind, bottle of single malt whisky

Likes: Copious amounts of comics, cartooning, coconut ice cream… and alliteration.

Dislikes: Looking excessively jowly in pictures. I also hate Mornings. And Sundays. Sundays are rubbish.

Achilles Heel: Will probably get distracted thinking about monkeys. They’re hilarious.  

Novel Title: The Invention of Steam


Name: Christopher ‘Skinny Boy’ Jackson

Age: 25

Home town: Cramlington

Weight: Not much.

Height: 5’10”

Handed: Right

Writing Weapons: Fingers (for typing), Moleskines (for longhand), Tea (for sustenance)

Likes: Above all, a girl. But also other stuff like stationary, Nutella on toast, and visiting the beach at night.

Dislikes: Terrible writers who become successful. Mrs Meyer, I’m looking at you.

Achilles Heel: The dancing, grinning Proscratination Demon who follows me wherever I go.

Novel Title: Stairjumpers